Before you proceed, please be aware this is a very difficult read about the effects of spiritual abuse and childhood sexual abuse. June 3, 2023 I’ve thought a lot about what should be in Part II and chose to give myself time as the content worked itself through and began…

May 27, 2023 Saturday Night It’s the second weekend I have not spent with David in months. In fact, we’ve only missed perhaps three weekends in our nearly eight months. I miss the quickening in my stomach on those days leading up to when I would see him again. I…

May 25, 2023 I start my fourth round of TMS Friday. I noticed I was slipping, for a good month now, and I made a commitment to get on it as soon as I noticed. I do not want to go back to the hospital. I do not want to…

July 8, 2017 Jeff, Out two days and I’m hearing voices again. It makes it hard to sleep. They’re right in my ear when I just about fall asleep then they jolt me awake. I can’t make out what they’re saying. They don’t scare me. Because I understand it’s my…

Summer 2017 Writings from the Nuthouse I now describe my relationship with Jeff as 90% vapor, 5% in person, 5% 10-word email responses. The 90% vapor is me. Hours’ worth of emails. Long emails. My heart, my very heart poured into vapor. Who is Jeff really? He’s not a person…

I was home for a visit from college. I was with my parents in the living room. We were watching TV and there was some unrelated discussion going on. I had a very smart mouth. The older I got the clearer things became and I was getting really angry about…

February 19, 2017 I met Jesus online. What a love. A Mexican American man in his mid-30s. He lives in Southern California. Handsome, sweet. He was born here but grew up in Mexico. He came back to the states and gave himself two years to become fluent in English. His…

February 17, 2017 A young man sent me a very very sexually aggressive message on a dating site. I don’t know why I didn’t just block him. I usually do. But sometimes I say something back first. I told him what he had said was inappropriate and disrespectful and just…

February 15, 2017 Online Exchange with a 20 Something