A completely boring HERPES educational blog post that you should absolutely read anyway.

November 4, 2022

Tomorrow, I’m meeting the fellow I’ve been dating for a few months, and we may be intimate. This is the second man with whom I’ve had this opportunity since my diagnosis.

The first, Don, thought he had herpes. He in fact reached out to me on a herpes subreddit. I suspected from the first he did not have herpes, and after seven months of browbeating him to get tested, he finally agreed. He tested negative. A woman his age, 44, asked him out the day after he received his negative test. I will take some responsibility for that! Had he not gotten that negative diagnosis, he might not have had the confidence to go on that first date. And she appears to be The One. He’s in love and I could not be happier for him. We’re friends. We will always be good friends.

It’s sad it took the negative test to jog him out of his complacency in staying with me, the much older friend and lover. But there’s no use in pretending having herpes doesn’t carry an incredible incredible stigma, and makes dating much too daunting a consideration for a majority of people that have it. The prospect of disclosure is what keeps people isolated. So unnecessary, so tragic. I hope to put a dent in that thwarted thinking.

This new fellow, David, does not have herpes. I’m the first woman he’s dated post-divorce, and the first he’s had this type of relationship with apart from his ex in over 30 years. We’re…