All the very best of me is birthed in pain.

October 6, 2022

It’s been nearly two months. Almost. On the 13th. That’s when Don’s Person asked him out. That’s when he texted me and asked me what he should do. What did I tell him to do? I told him to go for it! To stop getting in his own way. Lucky for him she took the lead. He followed. As well he should.

She’s strong, like me. She’ll bring out the best in him, far more easily with far less effort than I did! She’s right for him. Perfect. Well, no such thing as perfect. But man, it’s looking awfully promising. And I’m happy. Sick to my stomach every time I think of it, so so sick, but still happy my love is falling in love.

He worries about me; he wants to make sure I know he cares about me. He’s grateful. Indebted? Yes, unfortunately. I don’t want that. But his attentiveness makes me feel like I did make a difference. But I know I did. He doesn’t have to talk to me, pay attention to me, carve out time to communicate in order for me to know I made a difference. I know it beyond a doubt. Without me he’d never know he doesn’t have herpes. That gave him back his desire to live and to live fully.

He’s very careful what he shares. He doesn’t share about Cassie. He knows how much it hurts; how painful it’s been for me. So, I bring her up. I sprinkle her name into the conversation. He’s…