“Build a life so beautiful that suicide isn’t an option!”

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

April 28, 2019

After an online friend posted a meme on Facebook about his girlfriend being bi, bipolar that is, I went off a bit. I tagged him in a post I shared from a woman I follow who struggles horribly with bipolar with the comment, “The struggle is real”. He direct messaged me.

Man:

I don’t know why I said that about her. She makes me crazy, it’s true, but I’m the one who’s bipolar. I struggle with hypersexuality, drinking too much, I’m all about excess, excess. And the depression, it’s excruciating. When I’m depressed, I know I’m depressed. Because like now for example. I don’t wanna leave bed because at least my bed is safe. I don’t have to worry about fucking someone else’s life up in bed. I don’t have to deal people, I don’t have to worry about dying. I know. You know. We all know.

Me:

I get it. That’s classic bipolar. I struggle with it moment by moment. I’m up this morning only because I’m out of town visiting friends. If I were home, I’d roll over and sleep more. Because it’s easier to sleep than live. I fight that feeling but am not always successful. I persevere. But I don’t want my ex-boyfriends making jokes about me on Facebook for being bat shit crazy. It’s demoralizing and dehumanizing. It’s already too fucking hard to live…