But perhaps I shouldn’t compare myself to Paul. He was a saint, after all.

November 7, 2024

I have read and reread this post from Adam Kinzinger. I hope he is wrong, that it won’t be this bad — but no one knows what is to come. He certainly paints a worst case scenario, and I’m glad I have a pretty good picture of what that is now.

I worry things could devolve into a holocaust situation. I chastise myself for pondering this, but I have no idea how accurate my fears will turn out to be. I’m a lefty, I’m more of a moderate Never Trumper than anything else, but I’m pretty left these days. Plus, I’ve gone and flapped by big mouth all over the internet — on social media and I have a blog for goodness’ sake. Two, actually. If I ever do end up with all the rest of the libs on the kill list, I imagine my brother turning me in. I’ve seen enough movies where the German relative fingers her sister and brother-in-law for hiding Jews in the attic. He has always had power over me, and he has deeply wounded me. I recognize that at this point in my life, he only has the power I give him, but because of the pain he’s inflicted, my fear of him persists.

It seems ludicrous that I even allow such thoughts to take up space in my mind, but I do. Because it did happen then. There is no guarantee it will not happen again. And in fact, it is bound to happen again…