Member-only story
God counts the tears of women.
June 25, 2022
Don didn’t say goodnight last night. This morning, I get this text:
Good morning. I just wanted to give you an update on me. I started coming down with a cold yesterday, and I woke up sick AGAIN!! I can’t believe it. I’m getting a cold like every 4 weeks. I’m feeling very defeated. I’m so tired of being sick all the time. I’m also very stressed out about everything that I need to do but haven’t gotten to. My apartment is a freaking mess. I’m not in a good place mentally. I think I mentioned that when things are like this for me, I retreat away from the outside world until I feel better, and things are back in order. I don’t feel like talking with anyone when things are like this. It is nothing personal to do with you. But I didn’t want you to worry about that. I hope things will be better in a couple of days.
And I respond:
I’m sorry sweetheart I really am sorry. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
And then I think, “Why in the fuck would I ask him if there’s anything I can do? He just told me not to bug him for a couple of days. So, what in the fuck is there left for me to do but not bug him for a couple of days?”
Then a rush of painful ugly emotion runs through me, a torrent of guilt about the fact I immediately take this as rejection, when…
