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How can I be so sure?
December 14, 2024
Well, it’s officially winter break. I uploaded my final paper Thursday night. Whew. I had a really really rough day yesterday, I cried for a couple hours in the morning. Cinci Joe called and we chatted for an hour, then I felt better. I got ready to drive to mom’s and dropped Smoky off at his rescuer’s mid afternoon. The weather was bad, it gets dark very early, and traffic was heavy. I didn’t get to mom’s until 7:30.
I’ve been going through some of my old writing. This is how I felt last February. This is more true for me than ever. Each day, I feel stronger in my connection with the Divine. I knew this would happen once I immersed myself in study. This program has been a lifesaver in so many ways. Perhaps not literally, because Suicide no longer walks beside me every moment, but the contribution to my quality of life is immeasurable.
February 17, 2023
My Reformed Theology class is triggering me all over the place. My spiritual abuse is as visible as a scarlet letter. It comes out in everything I say, every time I shake my head, close my eyes, put my fingers to my temples to try to quiet down the anger inside so I can listen to the lecture, listen to my cohorts, and simply learn. And I am learning. But every reading cuts me through to that painful place deep inside of me that has come from years and years of…
