I have NEVER in my life had an entire month to spend alone in my apartment doing whatever I want.

January 18, 2023

It’s been a week now. I keep thinking I need to write about how it feels, but then I don’t. I don’t know why. I’ll try.

I haven’t been alone, had no one to think of, to consider, to protect and to care for — not for four and a half years.

Now it’s just me, alone with Tabitha, putting the apartment together. Watching movies, watching my news shows, sleeping when I want, waking when I want, making the food that I like, shopping for what I need (mostly online).

I had to pick up some packages in the lobby today, so I got dressed. I hadn’t dressed since Saturday when I’d met Paul for lunch. I took the garbage down in the new wire cart I ordered so I could carry groceries from the car to the apartment. Then I picked up my Pretty Litter and my new mop and got on the elevator with a man who I’ve seen on my floor. Every time I’ve seen him, he’s wearing a mask. That seems odd to me now, when I see people reluctant to let go of that habit.

“You’re in 406?” he asked.

“Yes. I’m really liking it.”

“I had a good friend that lived in 406. I’ve spent a lot of time in that apartment. She passed last summer.”