I learned a lot about myself, things I needed to know. I l learned things that I could not have learned from any other person, any other time, any other way. I get why I did what I did. I outed him to his wife, that's the part I find unforgivable. Self-forgiveness eludes. Therapy... I would never judge, even before the affair. I get it. People do things they think are right and good, things they feel compelled to do out of self-preservation - every decision, every choice, every action - even when to do so is unwise. We needn't condemn ourselves. We live with consequences, but we needn't condemn ourselves for our perceived mistakes. That's the rule I apply to everyone else, just not me.