I was suicidally distraught and my friend talked me into it. He said she had a right to know. I was desperate for it to end and I couldn't end it. I will regret it for the rest of my life. I didn't have the spine to just say "this isn't working for me, motherfucker". It was WRONG. I firmly believe it is up the the partner who is engaging in extra marital activities to decide if and when to tell his partner. Believe me, I was so wrong. It just added to everything that didn't work about the affair. Frankly, I'm surprised I survived that time. If not for my friends, I would not have. If not for my cats, I would not have. Man. I could go on here. All that pain comes bubbling up. I guess I've answered the question. I did it out of fear and selfishness and it was wrong.