I’m grieving the death of the possibility of something really wonderful

January 23, 2023

I drove to Portland for my consulting job yesterday. Often, when I’m doing that hour and a half drive, I’ll be on the phone with a friend. Yesterday, it was Adrian.

Adrian met someone. They had awesome chemistry, he believed. They spent some time together, had a meal, had a bit of physical, then parted on an upbeat note. That was last week, and Adrian hasn’t heard from him. Adrian is sad.

Adrian has been saying he’s not ready to get involved, to get serious with anyone, to date exclusively. We talked about how saying things like that is kind of silly, because it’s the person that dictates how you feel and what you want. It’s entirely dependent on the person you meet.

Then we talked about why it hurts so much when things don’t work out.

“I think we’re grieving the death of the possibility of something really wonderful,” I said. Adrian agreed.

There’s a traffic circle in Portland with a golden statue of Joan of Arc on a horse. It’s beautiful and so seemingly out of place. A random channeling of history, or perhaps myth, in the center of this busy traffic circle in Portland that thousands of people drive round each day. David and I have driven round that statue many times, now. It’s…