I’m grieving the death of the possibility of something really wonderful.
January 23, 2023
I drove to Portland yesterday. Often, when I’m doing that hour and a half drive, I’ll be on the phone with a friend. Yesterday, it was Adrian.
Adrian met someone. They had awesome chemistry, he believed. They spent some time together, had a meal, had a bit of physical, then parted on an upbeat note. That was last week, and Adrian hasn’t heard from him.
Adrian has been saying he’s not ready to get involved, to get serious with anyone, to date exclusively. We talked about how saying things like that is kind of silly, because it’s the person that dictates how you feel and what you want. It’s entirely dependent on the person you meet.
Then we talked about why it hurts so much.
“I think we’re grieving the death of the possibility of something really wonderful,” I said. Adrian agreed.
I spent the afternoon with David, yesterday. We watched the 1928 film, Joan of Arc. The actress was lovely, incredible, and she basically cried the entire 80 minutes. Not basically, she did cry the entire 80 minutes. Joan of Arc is a hero of mine. Not her cause, so much, but the fact she was so young and so certain of her beliefs. She was 19 when she was burned at the stake. Even if you’re not inspired…
