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I’m grieving the death of the possibility of something really wonderful REDUX.
July 22, 2023
Today was hard. David is at the beach with his new [insert appropriate noun here]. I don’t know what the appropriate noun is, and I don’t want to know.
I whine to my friends, and I run through all the ways in which David and I were quite horribly wrong for one another. It takes me anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour to run through the list; it is not short. And then, after all that, and hearing from my friends how much better it is David and I are “just friends”, nothing more, and after telling myself that umpteen times an hour, I still feel really sick and sad. Why?
I think I hit it on the nail earlier today.
I’ve done the work. I am far more deserving of a partner than David. He just has to be a man and show up online and he gets matches. Well, I do too, for that matter, but I don’t get age-appropriate matches, the kind that might actually turn into a long-term meaningful relationship. But who’s to say David does either? I mean, I was age appropriate, but that’s about it. We were pretty woefully wrong for one another on every other front. Although the relationship was not without great benefit — to both of us. But I don’t want to focus on anything that might actually make me feel better right now. I want to stay…
