Member-only story
Is he legit ENM?
This is a dating site conversation I had with a match. I found his profile description intriguing, but he did say “partnered and not looking to change that”. Although I was interested in what he had to say about himself as a person, I wanted more information about his relationship status.
I respect the relationship agreements couples have with one another. That means if I match with a man who is in a relationship his partner believes is exclusive, I am not going to pursue relationship with him.
I do not across the board rule out dating men in ethical non-monogamous relationships. It’s dishonesty I abhor. I can always handle the truth. But when a man lies about his relationship status, I will not tolerate it. I simply will not tolerate it. So, if he’s married, his wife thinks he’s faithful, yet he’s attempting to connect with women for sex online, he needs to just say that! Then I have the information I need to make an informed decision.
If you are open to dating men in ethically non-monogamous relationships, when you come across a profile like this, ask questions. If he takes offense, you know right away there’s a lot more to it and it’s not a situation in which you want to get involved. If he can’t handle the heat, he doesn’t have the stuff it takes to engage maturely in ethical non-monogamy.
