“It just goes to show ya. It’s always something. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.”

Coco Densmore
9 min readNov 16, 2022
Gilda Radner as Roseanne Roseannadanna, SNL

August 1, 2022

Turns out the fellow I’m dating, Don, I really do not think he has herpes. He has this skin condition at the base of his spine that showed up around the same time his ex-wife told him he’d given her herpes, so he just believed her, and has actively owned his herpes shame for six years. Spending that entire six years despising himself for having this disease that makes him an untouchable.

Over the months, we have discussed herpes, how it affects our lives, and we’ve talked about symptoms. Herpes outbreaks generally occur on or near the genitals, last about seven days then clear up. His issue never resolves, it is constantly present. He also has never had an outbreak on his genitals. Which isn’t definitive, because up to 90% of people with HSV-2 never have an outbreak. I gave him a course of Valacyclovir, 500 mg two times a day for three days, and there was no change in his condition. The whole thing has not set right with me from the get. And we’ve had unprotected sex all along.

I’ve asked him to get tested a few times, but I was totally consumed, for many months, with desperately trying to connect and read him and feeling like I was flailing and failing, trying to wrap my head and my heart around dealing with his Asperger’s. For many…

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Coco Densmore
Coco Densmore

Written by Coco Densmore

Coco Densmore writes about Embracing Her Single, being HSV-2+, living with bipolar mental illness, and overcoming childhood sexual abuse. www.cocodensmore.com.

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