My primary goal is to get to a place where I no longer couple the abuse I suffered at the hands of Calvinists with the theology itself.

January 24, 2024
Email to my Reformed Theology Professor

I very much believe in God. Very much. Unfortunately, I no longer claim the title “Christian” because it’s been coopted by white nationalists, which sickens me. So, I’m trying to come up with an alternative. I’m thinking “theist”, but the average person isn’t going to know what I mean by that… Suggestions appreciated!

Last semester, I took the class Monks, Martyrs, and Mystics and it was my favorite class. So fascinated by what you said about mystics in conjunction with reformed theology. I do not see the connection, frankly! Also, what you talked about, how we experience God, sounded in line with Richard Rohr’s The Universal Christ. I’m gradually shifting to that notion that God is in us and all around us. Panentheism. But often still, when I’m talking to the Big Guy in the White Robes, I look up to the sky. I’m sure the Divine isn’t offended.

I’m also experimenting with new names for God. I often go to the other extreme and use feminine pronouns, because I feel it’s akin to overcorrecting the thousands and thousands of years She’s been called He. (Kind of like Affirmative Action! HA!)…