Pain is here. I wonder how long she will feed off this new season of discontent.

May 31, 2019

It’s bad today.

I keep thinking about how the Louisville time in my life is coming to a close. It’s already over, actually. It happened slowly, since that fateful call from my brother in early May. Then very quickly. Over a period of just a few days. Just a fleeting knowing, knowing it was time to close that time and move ahead. I’m moving ahead now, into a place I don’t want to be. I rebel. It does me no good.

One day, just a few days back, I started telling friends I had to move back to Washington. I started making lists. Today I called and made a reservation for the moving company to pack up and ship my things to Centralia. A little town, with no restaurants open after 9 pm, and perhaps five bars that call last call at 1:45 am. Likely less than five.

Those few times driving mom to Vancouver for her doctor visits, it truly is beautiful here, when the sun shines. The hills, hill after hill, green with evergreen. Lush growth, clear rivers that border the highway.

Why, then, do I miss the scrubby bare trees that line the highway from Louisville to Springfield, while riding Greyhound to visit my good friends? Why, then, do I miss driving around town, in the ever constant flat? Where stopped cars…