Pain is here. I wonder how long she will feed off this new season of discontent.

Coco Densmore
3 min readFeb 19, 2024

May 31, 2019

It’s bad today.

I keep thinking about how the Louisville time in my life is coming to a close. It’s already over, actually. It happened slowly, since that fateful call from my brother in early May. Then very quickly. Over a period of just a few days. Just a fleeting knowing, knowing it was time to close that time and move ahead. I’m moving ahead now, into a place I don’t want to be. I rebel. It does me no good.

One day, just a few days back, I started telling friends I had to move back to Washington. I started making lists. Today I called and made a reservation for the moving company to pack up and ship my things to Centralia. A little town, with no restaurants open after 9 pm, and perhaps five bars that call last call at 1:45 am. Likely less than five.

Those few times driving mom to Vancouver for her doctor visits, it truly is beautiful here, when the sun shines. The hills, hill after hill, green with evergreen. Lush growth, clear rivers that border the highway.

Why, then, do I miss the scrubby bare trees that line the highway from Louisville to Springfield, while riding Greyhound to visit my good friends? Why, then, do I miss driving around town, in the ever constant flat? Where stopped cars never fall back as they do on the steep streets of Seattle? Why would I miss a place I found so hopelessly devoid of nature’s beauty?

But the businesses in Louisville, the bars, the restaurants, the buildings. The buildings hundreds of years older than what you find here, with such character, such history contained.

The people, from all over the world. Come to Louisville. Why? Some for jobs. Most for love. More outsiders than locals, that was my experience. So the opinions were varied. I never felt the way I looked at the world was disrespected, not in the city.

I never spent much time outside the city. I was a bit fearful of how a West Coast liberal might be received. Pointlessly so. But it was entertaining to entertain the thought the city was the only safe place for me. I found it funny. Now I find it ironic I found it funny.

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Coco Densmore

Coco Densmore writes about Embracing Her Single, being HSV-2+, living with bipolar mental illness, and overcoming childhood sexual abuse. www.cocodensmore.com.