Purity culture has fucked up more than one generation. It's incredibly shameful what the Christian church has done to millions of people. Have you watched Shiny Happy People? It's on Amazon. It was incredibly validating for me. As well as the documentary on Hillsong and the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast. It was cathartic. I've written about my spiritual abuse (The Fundamentalist Christian Mindfuck Part I and Part II). There is healing. Therapy man, therapy! (Another title of mine!) Good lord I've left several comments on this piece. Sorry. I'm not stalking you. Looks like I'm overidentifying. Well, take from that you are certainly not alone in your pain.