Sorry, not sorry.

Photo by mark tulin on Unsplash

What do you say when you accidentally push the wrong button in a full elevator? “Oops! I’m sorry.” Really? You’re sorry? For accidentally pushing the wrong button? Did you do it to intentionally harm others? Nope.

How about let’s get out of the empty apology business and try something like, “Wow, that was a mistake. I did not intend to hold you up.” Now, if you pushed the wrong button because you were texting and not paying attention, APOLOGIZE!

Studies have proven women apologize more than men. Women tend to apologize out of habit. It’s a bad habit. It undermines their authority and credibility.

Studies have shown men don’t apologize enough. Their hampered ability to say they’re sorry when they’ve done something wrong or hurtful undermines relationships.

· Be humble enough to recognize when you’re wrong and learn to apologize when you need to apologize.

· Apologize if you feel you owe someone an apology. Trust your gut on that one.

· Apologize when you’ve intentionally done something that negatively impacted another in a way that undermines their ability or their self-esteem.

· Apologize if someone points out something you said or did that was damaging and you realize they’re right.

· Don’t apologize out of habit.

· Don’t apologize to appease someone.

· Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.

· Don’t make empty apologies.

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An excerpt from my book How To Do Single With Dignity and Grace.