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The 90 Day Rule

Coco Densmore
3 min readJul 27, 2023

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Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

Sexual chemistry is one of the most powerful forces on the planet. It can make you feel all kinds of things that feel like you will feel forever.

I’ve said, “I love you” on a first date. More than once. In fact, many times. Mortifying to admit. I’ve pretty much outgrown that, but as I always tell my nieces, there is no age limit on stupid!

I’ve actually only been in love twice in my life. Once for sure, and the second time is even a bit iffy. That means all those other times that felt like forever love weren’t forever love. If it really is forever love, what’s the hurry? It’s forever!

When you have strong love feelings early on, recognize they are very likely a byproduct of sexual chemistry. That’s not a bad thing. It’s human! Make a conscious choice to let those feelings sit for a while, see if they last.

I have this thing called the 90 Day Rule. When you’ve been dating someone for 90 days and have spent a fair amount of time with them in real life, in a variety of situations with a variety of people, you’re going to have a pretty good idea if you want to be with them long-term.

It’s especially important you see how they react to a stressful or frustrating situation. How angry do they get? Do they have a temper? Only you can decide what is OK and not OK with how your partner expresses anger and frustration. A…

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Coco Densmore
Coco Densmore

Written by Coco Densmore

Coco Densmore writes about Embracing Her Single, being HSV-2+, living with bipolar mental illness, and overcoming childhood sexual abuse. www.cocodensmore.com.

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