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There is no magical deliverance from the pain of lost love.
August 2, 2021
The Louisville Vacation
I just had a long chat with a fellow I met in a bar who ended a 44-year marriage recently. Actually, his wife stepped out on him. He’s devastated but he’s pretending he’s over it and he’s moving on. And he spoke at great length trying to convince me of that. What he was really trying to do was convince himself. I didn’t buy his story for one minute.
I explained if he were really over it, he would be indifferent. The opposite of love is indifference. A more positive term for the concept of indifference is acceptance. But the opposite of love is not hate and it is not anger. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. If you hate, you still love in a way that may destroy you. You know when you are over someone, and you are moving on with your life, when revisiting that memory and that relationship and that time does not evoke a strong negative emotional response.
The journey from lost love to a place of peace of heart and mind is long and incredibly arduous. You may believe you can introspect and figure out all you need for yourself by yourself, but that is not the case. A therapist can walk you through the process of grieving and healing and fostering a new perspective.
