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There’s nothing that will ruin a relationship faster than getting to know someone.
May 27, 2023
Saturday Night
It’s the second weekend I have not spent with David in months. In fact, we’ve only missed perhaps three weekends in our nearly eight months.
I miss the quickening in my stomach on those days leading up to when I would see him again. I miss our weekend routine, going to Trader Joe’s Saturday morning. David working the NYT crossword in the mornings while I made bead jewelry. Our afternoons at one of his favorite dives, him drinking Rainier’s and me drinking lemon drops. I miss “us”. Whatever “us” there was. Which I now doubt existed. But I’m feeling sorry for myself this evening. It’s easy to visit the notion it was all a lie. It wasn’t.
It is easier and easier to look back over the weeks and months and see where the physical intimacy waned to nothing. It’s easy to remember, now, in the lookback, the last time he kissed me with any sort of passion. It’s easy to remember the last time he told me he loved me and it was actually believable as more than friendship love.
“There’s nothing that will ruin a relationship faster than getting to know someone,” I said to a friend yesterday, surprised that specific realization formed in my mind and made its way out of my mouth. I’ve repeated…
