Member-only story
Walk out your bipolar with fear and trembling.
July 12, 2017
So, I laid down, I slept, but now I’m up. I’m up. This is good. As long as I don’t stay up all night.
You know that verse, “Walk out your salvation with fear and trembling”? Well, that’s how I feel. “Walk out your bipolar with fear and trembling.” I’m afraid and I’m trembling. But I’m walking.
When I sleep and I wake, I lay there, with Chloe crawling all over me purring and wanting to be loved. This memoir unfolds in my mind. Sentence by sentence rolls out before me like the unfurling of a red carpet, until I must leave my bed and come to the laptop and let it write itself out here.
My mom tried to FaceTime me. I let it go. I texted her I’m OK, will talk later. I don’t know why. I can’t do it. I have to do it though. She’s my mom. I don’t want people to not try to call me. I want people to just not try to call me. Now figure that one out. If you try to call me and I don’t answer, I’m sorry. If I didn’t answer because I couldn’t talk because of being sick, I’ll text you and tell you that. But I won’t tell you I’ll call you back. Because when you’re dealing with demons, you never feel like calling back. Just try to call me back again. At your convenience. I always say that in work emails. At your convenience.
