Member-only story
What I Learned from Dating a Man with Asperger’s
The relationship I had with Don was by far the most challenging, the most rewarding, and most importantly, the healthiest I’ve ever had with any man in my life. The process of learning who he was, the process of learning about Asperger’s and how to build a successful relationship with someone on the spectrum resulted in my developing far greater communication skills than I thought possible. What I learned from that relationship benefited me in all my relationships and in all my communications.
I’ve written extensively about the challenges I encountered on my blog. Getting to a comfortable place in our relationship was a painful, arduous process, with many setbacks. In the end, the effort I invested in the relationship with Don has proven invaluable to my personal growth, and I know for a fact to his as well.
#1: Don didn’t express how he was feeling unless I asked, and even then, he often did not have the words to tell me
It wasn’t long before I sensed Don just wasn’t getting me. He valued me, I knew that from the get. He consistently and deliberately sought me out for relationship. He very much wanted me to be part of his life, but he never expressed that in words. I looked up this condition and found a name for it: Alexithymia.