Member-only story
We are still left. We are still left.
February 28, 2018
Coco,
What you articulated here was perfect. I am so sorry you are going through this… but if it helps I am going through it too. I was drugged and raped in June. I know exactly how you feel. To know what is happening, but to be completely unable to say no. It sent me into a spiral too. I still don’t feel right. And the head stuff, the brain… doing the simplest shit…
We are smart fucking women. We know how to clean our house. We know how to handle our business. But for some reason there is something in our head telling us that we can’t. People like us, achievers… we struggle with patience. Because patience means not doing… and we suck at that.
I started seeing a therapist in October, and I stopped the end of January. I thought I was handling everything okay, but I was falling apart. She made a world of difference. My head still isn’t back…. the simple tasks are so fucking hard… and they take everything I have… I am so nervous that I am going to get fired… But I feel more like myself… I feel less… I feel less less. If that makes sense.
I completely relate to feeling… overwhelmed with my own stupidity. I can’t speak any more… I can’t focus… all I do is watch TV and play on my phone. I am gaining weight. I feel so bad about myself.
