“You know, God needs to give me a fucking break! I’m working through all this shit and he has to add this sex stuff on top of it?”

March 6, 2020

I didn’t want it to happen, but I imagined it would. I knew it would, actually. You can’t have a body like mine, with the large breasts I have, and not get noticed. I’m fat, but I’m stacked. I’m old and fat, but I’m still stacked. Guys and boobs. A timeless love story. Doesn’t seem to matter who they’re attached too. Big boobs are fascinating.

I was walking back to the unit from breakfast, new admit Lyle by my side. A kind young man, a man of size, with whom I had taken up conversation. We walked by the med line. Five men from the chemical dependency unit were waiting, some seated some standing. All eyes on me as I turned the corner and came into full frontal view. I heard one say, “That’s her.” And then there was laughter.

My face flushed. Adrenalin flooded through. I was ashamed, then angry. I got down the hall, close to the unit door, then I turned around, stopped and said, “Would you guys lay the fuck off me?”

“What! We didn’t do anything!”

“Just don’t do it again,” Lyle said. My champion my protector. The only gentleman present.