Member-only story
“You only have to say it once.”
November 12, 2017
Louisville
So, I took all the chicken out of the freezer when I thought I was going to have the dinner get together Saturday night. But I didn’t have the dinner get together. So now I have so much chicken I don’t know what to do. I hate to waste it because I go without food for days. And all this chicken would have really helped. So I’m cooking it. Remind me to pay attention to how long it cooks. Oh ya you can’t. You’re a reader. But I’m treating you like a real live person! Sitting next to me in my only other chair. Having a nice chat about all my problems. And how they are overwhelming me. And how I can’t see a way out. And how maybe, after this morning, I can see a way out. But I don’t want to say that too loud. So I am only whispering right now. I’m used to failing. It feels comfortable and right and like what I deserve in life.
After I sent all the contrition emails, I had a horrible pain in my chest. I know this pain. I need Klonipin. Badly. But I don’t have any. Haven’t had any for over a month. I haven’t been able to get over to the Lobotomy Hospital to get my prescription and take it to the drugstore to be filled. Very bad. Or very good?
You know how I always say wherever you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be? Maybe I haven’t said it yet to you. But I say it all the time to…
